Mark & Ann - Forever & Ever

Judged

2010-06-28T17:02:00.004-05:00

There's so many things in my life that go unspoken. It's not because I want to keep things to myself or because I am ashamed. I have found, it shows a true persons character when they judge another based on their own ideas and what they think they know. For if they choose to judge at all, they are usually mistaken based on their lack of knowledge and understanding. So my unspoken words bring out the true form of those who choose to judge.

Many have chosen to judge me, in the past, for the paths I have taken to get to where I am now. I may not have made the right choices for them, but I have made them for me. I have learned along the way which made the wrong choices at the time become right ones. Because the number one goal is education...we learn from our mistakes.

That being said, I have chosen this time to educated you a little about me and my relationships with Mark and Jett, and the judgements we face:
Mark and I have quite the past. All filled with friends, friends we've hurt, family, war, school, relationships, love...there's not an emotion that hasn't be crossed with us. When we met again, after 7+ years of not speaking, it's like love stood still for us. As if we kept on moving but our love stopped and waited until we took the right path back to each other. We knew we were going to face many judgements when we met up again. It was, and always will be, a risk worth taking...because ultimately those people don't know us...they just know what they think.
One day, we decided to bypass all judgement and live for ourselves. We got married, without anyone knowing. On April 30, 2009 we were forever joined as husband and wife. For the first 6 months we lived together as one, with no one else knowing. To avoid more judgement and conflict we chose to remarry and keep our secret. On October 29, 2009...almost 6 months to the day, we were remarried in front of family. It wasn't until just after our 1 year anniversary that we told my family of our secret. We will never avoid judgment of our choices but we are proud of our choice, it was the best one for us.

Mark and I at our first wedding

Mark and I, with Jett, at our second wedding...6 months later

It's not just us that face judgement because of the decisions we made/make...Jett too will forever face judgement. I do not believe in labels, especially labels that could ultimately disable someone. However, it seems that it is easier in this society to label something/someone to make it easier to explain/describe. That being said, as many know he has been labeled as Autistic. He is a wonderful boy with quite the ability to charm anyone (just like his father) and memorize anything you put in front of him. He also has the ability to not understand boundaries. These boundaries that society has developed to protect people are also the same boundaries that inhibit people; and are the same boundaries that cause us to make judgements for fear of crossing the boundaries created. Jett knows of knows of no limits with people. He thinks everyone is interested in what he's doing, he wants to be everyones friend, and he loves everyone he meets. Sadly enough, this ability will one day cause him harm without the proper societal education. So we educate him on how to treat others in public, we educate him on what to do in certain situations, we educate him... BUT...where is the education for everyone else? Why is it that parents can't educate their "normal" children more so that Jett will not be judged because he is not like everyone else? Why is it that just because he is associated with a label he is treated differently? Why is it that people cannot accept what they choose to not understand or be educated on?
The worst part of it all, is that Jett is not the only one out there who faces this problem. There are other kids out there who face the problems that come with being labeled. There are grown adults that face the same problem. And people judge. Why is it that it's ok for people to judge? We all have our problems, our quirks, our "abilities"..."judge not that ye be not judged"...it's just that simple.

I don't know...

2010-04-12T14:55:00.003-05:00

I'm not proud of what I have been feeling, I'm sure I'll regret what I have to say, but it's what I'm feeling right now. Doesn't that deserve a little recognition? When I married Mark I didn't marry him because of Jett, I didn't marry him for money, and I sure as hell didn't marry him for his ex-wife. I didn't marry him cause I thought he could support me, or give me everything I want/need. I married him because I felt I could be myself with him, laugh at stupid things with, share my thoughts with, and because I love him. But selfish me is now wondering about the rest. Why do I have to revolve my life around a kid that's not mine in order to be with the one I want? Why do I have to put up with his ex-wife? And who is going to support me (cause I couldn't do a very good job of it on my own), and who's going to give me what I want and need (cause I'm too selfless most of the time to think about myself, current blogging as the exception)? Am I losing me in order to be with the one who I can be myself around?
I make no sense. I have no idea who I want to be or what I want to do, but I'm upset about not having the opportunity to go somewhere I think I want to be to maybe find what I want do. Or would it be just another dead end?
Why is it that we always want what we can't have? Why can't we just be content with the life we're given?
I was meant to be something more, I was meant to do something more, I was meant to be somewhere more. At least I think so, what if this is as good as it gets? What if I reach beyond this point and it's just downhill from here?
I need a direction, a starting point, an ending point, a path, a tunnel with light at the end of it...at this point I'll even accept the light being a train...I just need to know where I'm going, what I'm doing...and if this is all life has to give...than I need to learn how to accept than I'm not what I thought was or where I thought I was going be...but maybe that's not always a bad thing.
I just don't know...I'm ashamed...and I don't know.

Decisions...decisions...

2010-04-10T20:19:00.003-05:00

I have been finding it hard to write about just Mark and I. Things coming from my point of view alone just don't work well talking about two...because there's always 2 sides to things. However, it is important to me to occasionally rant or put my .02 in somewhere so here we go again. This time, it won't always be about us...sometimes just about what I think.
Right now we are facing all important decisions about our future. What we want to do, where we want to go, and who we want to be. It's difficult to know when you're making the right decisions...or even what the right decision is. Who do you keep in mind when you're making your decisions? Are there limits to what you want and how far you'd go to get them? How do you know who or where you want to be? I don't think there's just one answer to every question, so it's our job to weed out the bad, find all the options and make the best ones for us.
As of late, we have decided not to have kids. We were working so hard the last 2 years to try to get pregnant that I think we lost sight of ourselves and what we really want. While 5 years ago, even 10, I was determined to be a young mom, there were other plans out there for me that I had no control over. I told everyone, including myself, that I was born to be a mom. But now, as I quickly approach my 30's, I'm beginning to rethink the whole thing. Why is it that I wanted to be a mom in the first place? Is my life going to be any richer with children than it is now? What would I be missing out on with kids or without? Ultimately, after many talks with Mark, the decision was made...no kids for us. The list goes on as to the reasons why not, here are just a few. 1. We won't be able to just pack up and go where ever/whenever we want. 2. Less time for just the two of us. 3. The infertility issues. 4. Less money for us to play. 5. Less flexibility in what we want to do in our future. Like I said the list just went on and on, so we decided that we need to make the best decision for us. Mark will have the "procedure" done sometime soon to eliminate the "accidents" and to keep me from having to take any more hormones. And if we do want kids in the future, we both agreed that we can adopt, there are tons of kids out there who need a family to love them. Besides, Mark and I lost 10 years together that we have to catch up on.
Also, we are facing where we want to be and go and do. Right now we know, we've always known, that Texas isn't the place for us. But we also knew that we were stuck here till Jett turned 18...which is another 10 years away. So just like that, because one party wants to stay while the other one wants to go, we're stuck. Until we put a bit more thought into it. Who's to say that we have to live in Texas to be parents to Jett? Families do it all the time; have commuting children for holidays and vacations. While it's not for everyone, in this case it just might be better. Jett is very much a mommas boy and doesn't care to be at our house much. While we've tried to make it as much as home as possible for him, we have rules that don't exist as his moms. No food in the bedroom, limited tv time, very limited fast food, no personal computer (he's 7 for heavens sake)...standard rules that we had growing up, that he doesn't have at moms. And with his "disability" us implementing rules that just go away when he's home actually throws him off and makes him worse cause he needs consistency (and who are we to say that the rules we have are any better than the ones his mom has, I just can't have chaos at our house, it's not my thing). Plus, the more we communicate with his mom about him the worse the arguments get, the angrier people get, it's just over all a bad situation...when the parents can't get along at all, is the child getting 100% from either one?...100% from one is better than 60/40 from both.
Anyways, so we decided to look for opportunities outside of Texas knowing that we can make anything that we set our minds to work. Mark has the opportunity to transfer to his company's sister office in Carson City, NV with no change in anything except location. With me not having a "real" job right now, I can pretty much pack up and go anywhere. So that's an option for us. We also got to talk about the top 10 places we would like to live. We made lists compared the lists and we ended up with a few places. Colorado Springs, CO. Portland, OR. Salt Lake City, UT. All of these include surrounding cities. The bad thing is that if we decide to move to any one of these places we would have a rough time because one would have to go ahead of the other to find a job. The good thing is that we have family in all locations, so we'd have a place to stay while looking. Carson City wouldn't be like that, we'd know very few people, but there's already be a job waiting. And who's to say that if we stay a year and it doesn't work that we can't move again?
Then there's the thought...what do you want to be when you grow up? And which one of those places would be best suited for that? For Mark, it's simple...he wants to fly...and when he gets his money he'll be able to finish up his flying time and get his licence and go from there. With me, it's not that simple. I have NO idea what I want to be when I grow up. I haven't found my niche yet...and I'm ok with that...I'm kinda just letting life take me where it wants to. So now the questions is...where, when, and how do we go?
Ok, and while I'm all for ya'll offering your .02...please don't judge...you only know the information in which I've told you...there's so much more to things you just don't know.

Running low...

2009-10-14T18:46:00.001-05:00

It’s taken me a long time to get up the nerve to write this blog. Partly because I feared people knowing about all of this, partly because writing this means it’s more real than I ever wanted it to be, partly because of the reasons I have a hard time writing all of my blogs…I’m lazy. Now the situation has gotten to the point where I need prayers, well wishes, good thoughts…or whatever beliefs, feelings or desires may feel is appropriate for the situation.

About 6 months ago Mark and I seriously started trying to get pregnant. The problem was that I have been diagnosed with PCOS (poly-cystic overian syndrome), so I’m not ovulating on my own. After evaluation by my GYN she suggested that I go on Clomid to try to induce ovulation. The first month on a low dosage was unsuccessful, no ovulation. The second month she upped the dosage which caused over stimulation and 3 very large, very painful cysts. At that point my body need a break, my heart needed a break.

After taking 2 months off I made an appointment to see the GYN mom works for. He suggested that I go on a different medication that when taken regularly is a cancer drug but when taken for 5 days can aid in ovulation. I took all of the pills as recommended, went in for a consult mid cycle and to get a sono done. Yup, more cysts. The doctor said to hope that it worked this time around because if it didn’t and the cysts were still there at the end of the cycle that he’d stop the meds. The good news was that the blood work came back showing that I ovulated. The bad news is that I’m not pregnant.

We didn’t check the cyst at the end of that month…I took the risk to avoid more heartache. Now we’re on month 2 of this new drug…month 6 of trying. I’ve taken the meds like normal…followed the schedule to a tee…minus night before last, but we can’t be perfect now can we? Now I’m just hoping that it works this time…

In between all of this we found out that my baby sister…who had no intentions of having a baby, who really didn’t want a baby…is now pregnant. I’m trying to be happy for her. Then today I found out my sister-in-law and brother-in-law are now pregnant…both of which initially talked about not having any more kids…this may have changed…but I’m trying to be happy for them.

I’m running low on “faith”…running out of hope. The thought of this not working is breaking my heart more and more every day. Part of me wants to numbingly keep going, part of me just wants to give up…but it takes the better part of me just to get out of bed everyday and pretend none of this bothers me…to stay strong.

So now I’m hoping someone else can provide the “faith” for a little bit…I’m running a bit low. Pray, cross your fingers, hope…do whatever you may do best…but keep me in mind when you do…this needs to work…please let it work.

Appreciation...

2009-09-28T21:34:00.002-05:00

It doesn't take days like this for me to appreciate Mark, it days like this that I appreciate him just that much more. Today i'm not feeling well...I don't know it's becuase I'm tired or if I'm actually sick, but either way...
So Mark came home from work brought me flowers, chicken soup, popsicles! He takes such good care of me!

Weddings...

2009-09-28T13:28:00.002-05:00

Trust me, I think about blogging every day. I want to keep up with myself and let everyone else keep up with us this way, but it never does really work out the way I would like.

I’m not feeling so well today. I think it may be possible that I’m working too much and it may be time to slow down. I will give it just a few more weeks…till right before the wedding/honeymoon…then I know I will have earned that break.

The wedding is officially 1 month and 1 day away. I can’t wait! We found my wedding dress at Ross one day. After my discount it ended up costing me $21. Gotta love that! It’s really simple and elegant looking…almost more of a beach type of dress than a wedding dress, but it’s perfect for this.

We’ve also decided on our honeymoon destination. We will be staying at El Dorado Royale in Playa del Carmen. We are both extremely excited! This trip is much needed and well deserved.

We went to Mark’s friends wedding over the weekend. It was a lot of fun. It was nice being able to help and actually know some of the people at the wedding…old high school friends. Mark was one of the groom’s men. He was sweaty and uncomfortable, but he was as cute as can be. It turned out to be a beautiful wedding. I hope the bride and groom enjoy their lives together and the joy of their soon to be new twins (she’s two months along)…so exciting!

Other than that, right now it’s work, work, work…we are so earning this honeymoon!

Slacker...

2009-08-26T18:45:00.004-05:00

Someone should put a little bell on me so I remember to update this thing every now and again. Sorry for not keeping better track of myself, I do by best, but sometimes my best isn’t enough for blogging.

Let’s see, where in the world do I start?...

Well, the teacher thing hasn’t turned out to be what I thought it was going to be. Maybe because I don’t have the drive of what I once did. Maybe it’s because I lack motivation. Maybe it’s because that since I wanted to be a teacher way back when, Texas has changed what’s important to a student’s learning…now it’s all focused on the TAKS test. Either way, it hasn’t necessarily been crossed off the list, it’s just been put off for an unknown amount of time.

Right now we are both working 2 jobs, partly to have more money in the account and partly because I don’t think we’d really know what to do with ourselves otherwise. I am working at Ross with Lupe from 6:30am-9:30am and then I head over to Mark’s dad’s office and work there doing QuickBooks stuff from 10-3. It’s good that my day is over at 3 because it allows me some time to get other things done or come home and nap. It’s a good chance for me to have some quite time. Mark is working at Harley still. Actually he was promoted today. No more pay because he’s making quite a bit more than everyone else there already, but definitely a better position for him. I’m glad they see his potential. Then he’s also working out at the farm on the weekends; doing farm work or doing petting zoo parties. He’s very good at what he does. Sometimes I like to go with him just to sit in the back of the room and admire how good he is with the kids and animals.

Mark is also learning how to fly. We are blessed that his sister is dating a guy who owns 3 airplanes and has offered to help in getting his pilots license. It’s been great for him and I know he really enjoys it. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to pull the money together so that he can finish in a good amount of time so he can take me up with him one day and I can admire him in the air just as I do on the ground. I actually cried the first time he went up in the air. I’m just so proud of him for following his dreams and doing what he loves.

Jett started 2nd grade on Monday. It looks like he’s going to enjoy school very much this year. He has his kindergarten teacher for 2nd grade which worked out well since his special Ed. teacher from the last couple of years is no longer at the school. This year he has his first male teacher. From what I understand he likes him, so let’s continue to cross our fingers and hope this year go by smoothly.

We have also moved again. This is the last time we will be moving for at least a year. I love this place though, so I think this a great place to stick around. Our new place is further north than our last place, since I don’t have to be so close to downtown. It’s about 3 miles from Jett and about 5 miles from dad, mom, Megan, Renee and Jonathan. As well as not being that much further to Mark’s moms or the airport. It’s close to both of our works and that makes our lives just that much easier. The place is lovely. One day when I have it a little more straitened up I will take pictures and post them (sorry, not a fan of dishes or bed making right now). Our place has wood floors, a great view, and even pot and pan drawers. I love my pot and pan drawers, one of the best things ever invented!

I guess we'll just keep on keep'n on.

I passed...

2009-08-05T18:16:00.003-05:00

Today I took my real estate license test. I waited until the last minute like I usually do, I was to take the exam by August 11th and today is the 5th...but I got it done in time none the less. I spent the last 2 days trying to cram the best I could. I even told Mark I was taking the test next week to avoid any added pressure. However, last night I took a practice test in which I majorly failed, so I confessed to Mark my dilemma and he tried to help the best he could. I went to bed late after studying, and got up early this morning to study more. I headed to take the test by 9:30. Parts of it were hard and parts were easy, I had to take it on the computer and had no idea how I was doing. Almost 2 hours later I finished and the results popped up as PASS!! I was so relieved!!! I called Mark who had left me 2 panicked texts while my phone was in the car. He said that he had been worried sick for me. Isn't that so sweet? I think he was more worried about me passing than I was. I then celebrated by going to Sam Moon and buying myself a wallet and going to chick-fil-a and buying a much needed happy meal. I then met Mark at work for his lunch. He is so wonderful, all he's been saying since he found out was how proud he is of me. It is so wonderful to have him support me and be proud of me!!! Mark's parents and my parents are happy for me too...I have such wonderful family!!! Wahoo for me!!!

Updates...

2009-07-30T16:26:00.002-05:00

Gosh, it's been quite some time since I blogged last. Life has been kinda hectic, so where do I start?...

I quit my job in June, it's been over a month and a half now of surviving. We've been doing pretty good so far. We've cut back a lot but are getting by. I finished with my teachers classes, and now all I really have to do is take the test. However, things have gotten a little tight around her and my hopes of being a teacher this upcoming school year were unrealistic. So I have been working a Ross, thanks to my manager sister-in-law, and have been able to bring in some much needed extra bux. The teaching thing will come in time, when it's right everything will fall into place when it's supposed to. Keith, Mark's dad, is also trying to help find me a job. He is one of the best people I've ever met...I'm so glad I will soon be able to call him my father-in-law.

Speaking of which, Mark and I have finally decided to get married. We are going to get married in a JP on October 30th...I'm very excited. It's taken over 10 years but I know this is the place I was meant to be. We make such a great family together.

Jett turned 7 in June...he is getting so big...and he's making Mark feel older by the day. He's such a wonderful kid though. He's going through a bit of a momma's boy stage right now, so it's hard for him to stay the night here. We have already lost Thursday evenings due to Marks work schedule, and will will lose Tuesday nights when school starts. We will still have him Tuesday evenings and Saturday overnight, but I think this is really hard on Mark. He's being very strong about it though and constantly remembering that this is for the good of his son. He's such a wonderful father.

What else...oh...about 2 weeks ago Mark got bit by a degu (kinda like a pet squirrel). It very quickly turned from a small bite to a balloon hand. We spent one night in the er, they sent him home on antibiotics. He saw a hand specialist the following day who was quite concerned about it still..enough that he sent Mark to be admitted into the hospital. Mark spent the next 4 days in the hospital on antibiotics every 6 hours. I worked the days while he was there, but came right there after work and slept the night every night...I have never missed my bed so bad in my entire life! Mark is doing much better now. His finger still hurts sometimes and he's just now able to bend it almost all the way down. I'm sure he will recover fully real soon. Now it's just going to be interesting to see what all the hospital and doctors charges are...all I can say about that is thank goodness for insurance.

I found out awhile ago that I am going to be an aunt, and Mark an uncle. Megan is pregnant, as a matter of fact she found out today that it's a boy. I'm not sure if I'm excited or scared for her, but either way I'm here to support her if she needs me. Although, I don't know if she knows if she's excited or scared about it either. I'm sure everything will be ok for everyone, as long as the baby is healthy and has a happy and loving home...life is good!

We are moving again on the 11th and 12th of August. We found a place a little further north of here...since I don't have to be so close to downtown anymore now that I'm not working there. Our new place is super nice; wood floors throughout except in the bedrooms, pot and pan drawers, big closet...it will be a good move for us I think. It's only about 5 minutes away from Jett and super close to Ross. It's the same distance to work for Mark, plus it's closer to all of our family. It will be a good move for us. I will try to remember to post pictures when we get everything settled in.

Lastly, part of which was brought on by Marks last post. We are becoming a bunch of lightweights around here. I have dropped 25+ lbs since I moved back home a year ago. I still don't feel great, but it's a work in progress...nothing some good working out can't fix. I think I have discovered that I'm allergic to gluten, I haven't been tested for sure, but I wouldn't be surprised. I get so sick every time I eat anything with gluten in it...so we've been sticking to meat and veggies around here for the most part. The occasional pasta is rice pasta...and of course we cheat every now and again, but if we do we cheat 100%...pizza and rolls and cakes :-) Mark is also losing a bunch of weight...not sure where he's at since last year, but I am so proud of him!!! His goal is to get down to his goal weight for our wedding. I'm doing my best to be here for support, now if I could get a little less tired I will even start pushing us to go to the gym more. Wish us luck!

Well, that's it for now, I think...hope you enjoyed this update. I will continue to try to keep this thing updated as much as I can.

Biggest Loser...

2009-07-19T23:13:00.003-05:00

Harley Davidson has decided to bring back the Biggest Loser Contest again. I decided on a team of people who I think will motivate me. Ann tries to motivate me too but sometimes I feel like I would do better with peers trying to achieve a goal together. We weigh in tomorrow morning and I am excited to get started. the contest runs through the end of September so I have just over 9 weeks to get skinny. My team has decided to do an all cardio workout program to shred the fat paired with a low calorie diet. Once the contest is over we will continue to workout and push each other but start incorporating weight training. I will try to keep up with the blog to track my progress as well as my teams.
My personal goals is to get from 180 lbs. to 150 lbs. It seems to be a far out goal for 9 weeks but I am want something to push me.
WISH ME LUCK!!!!

Father's Day Letter...

2009-06-21T23:56:00.001-05:00

Happy Father’s Day My love,
I know I wasn’t there the day your child was born. I know I wasn’t there as you watched your child grow. I know I wasn’t there to share with you the first 5 years of fatherhood with you. The very selfish side of me will forever wish that I would have been there by your side. But I feel blessed to have been able to spend the last with you watching you raise your child, watching that little boy grow into a wonderful young man. It is by your word and your hand that your child has been blessed to be who and where he is today. Without you this single innocent child would not be here, without you this child would not know what direction to turn, without you this child would only know half of the love he knows today, and because of you this child will grow and prosper to be as wonderful of a man as you have become.
I pray one day you and I will be able to share in the joy of raising our own children together. That you and I will play parts in watching and helping our children to grow. I could not have asked for a better man to do that with than you. And if for some reason this joy shall not come to pass for us…I know that no matter what you always have been and always will be a wonderful father and husband. Thank you for sharing with me the love of a child, the joy of life, and the forever that is our love.
Forever and ever,
Ann

Riding in an Airplane... Challenge Air

2009-06-06T20:52:00.005-05:00

Today was a great day. Jett had the opportunity to ride in an airplane. Challenge Air is a Fantastic organization that gives children with special needs a chance to get away from their hectic lives and enjoy something that most of them never get to do. Each child is allowed to bring 2 guest and fly in a four seater plane with a certified pilot. Jett, Hannah, and I all got to go. The program has sponsors from all over. They had clowns making balloon animals(I hate clowns) They had free food and craft tables for the kids. they had a bounce house and even a mini ground school to teach the basic aeronautics of flying a plane

Buffalo was our pilot today. He was awesome!! He met us in the hangar and walked us out to his Cessna 177 Cardinal. N3463L

Once we all climbed aboard we all put on our headsets and have a quick rundown of what was gonna happen. Jett told everyone that the steering wheel in a plane is called a Yoke. Buffalo looked at me in shock he knew that and all I could do was shrug at him. We set off down the taxi-way and got in line for take-off. Jett helped steer the plane down the runway and got us lined up. The McKinney tower gave us the go ahead and we took off. Jett was able to assist him with the take-off, flight and landing. Jett had a fantastic time and asked when we got out if we could go again. We assured him this wouldn't be his last Challenge Air event.

A Big Change...

2009-06-06T20:24:00.005-05:00

Over the last couple of months, Mark and I have been actively trying to get pregnant, but with my PCOS it has been quite the headache...and cramps...and pain. Most people didn't know about what we were trying to accomplish because I didn't want everyone to keep asking me how things were going. I was feeling disappointed enough as it was, I don't think I could have handled disappointing anyone else.

That being said, we had a talk the other day about how much I dislike my job. Mark said that he really wishes I would look into teaching like I have wanted to do forever. I never really looked into this because I thought it meant me going back to school and getting my masters, which would have taken a lot of time and money. But on a whim I looked into it anyways and found out that I could go through an Alternative Certification Program since I have my bachelors. This program would allow me to get my certification by taking a test and a few classes and then 1 year of teaching would allow me to get the full certification.

The more I looked into this program the more I realized I couldn't study, take the classes, and the tests while working a full time job...all before the 2009-2010 school year (which starts sometime in Aug). So Mark and I sat down with our finances and decided that if I got a part time job with Lupe that I we could totally make this work.

So...yesterday I turned in my two weeks...I quit my job, my last day is June 19th. Then all of my time gets devoted to studying, testing and preparing for my future. I will first start by taking the 4-8 test which will allow me to teach math, English, science, and/or social studies in 4th through 8th grade. Then I will take the Special Education Early Childhood through 12th. Then I will take the Early Childhood through 4th. The first one will get my foot in a door, the second one will allow me to become more specialized and the third one will show that I'm really passionate about teaching.

I am nervous as can be. I've quit my job to devote all of my time to studying. I've got 2 months to prepare and test for everything so I can get in by the new school year. We are going to live on Marks pay, the little we have in savings and the small amount I will make part time working for Lupe. Plus, with the way the market is right now I've got tons of competition. The good news about that is that I just happen to know the Assistant Superintendent of Human Resources for Frisco ISD. I dated her son my entire senior year of high school and my best friend has been dating him for the last 2 years.

Mark is being really super supportive about the whole thing and is going to push me really hard to make sure I do my best. We both agreed that the whole baby thing wasn't meant to be right now, if we were to have gotten pregnant then I wouldn't have ever had this opportunity again. So I guess everything works out for a reason. We will try again sometime soon, but definitely after I'm done with all this stuff and have landing myself my first teaching job.

So...wish me luck...I'll keep you informed as I know more.

Our Trip To Houston...

2009-06-05T18:04:00.012-05:00

I don’t get much time to blog any more, but Aunt Martha brought to my attention that I'm slacking so here it is...

Our trip to Houston was fabulous! We dropped Jett off about 1pm Sunday afternoon and we headed straight for the highway (of course not before we stopped off at Arby’s for some much needed food). We drove the 4 hours it should have taken to get there and we got there just after 5. We had to valet park because there are few parking spaces in down town Houston. Mark checked us in as I relaxed on their lime green couch in the waiting area. We got to our upgraded suite on the 20th floor, it was beautiful!

The suite was gorgeous too. A big comfy bed, a small kitchen, a nice size bathroom…it was probably the fanciest hotel I’ve ever been in.

We got dressed and went to get a view from the roof top pool before we headed off to complementary drinks before heading off to dinner.

After soaking in the view we went downstairs and had 2 glasses of wine each and just spent some quality time together…

After pre dinner drinks we headed off to the restaurant that I had been dying to go to since I left Florida. Our hotel was a few steps away from the restaurant so we walked to it to catch our 7pm reservations. Now here’s the only bad part of the trip…the restaurant was closed. Mark was very upset, because we had reservations and everything. I tried to keep my cool but was quite disappointed myself. We walked back to the hotel where I had the receptionist make us reservations at another restaurant close by…one that we have in Dallas. We went there with heavy hearts but after we ate we were able to let go of the sadness and enjoy the rest of our evening.

We walked back to the hotel where Mark proceeded to run around like a mad man around the lobby because he had to pee so bad. He disappeared and then came back refreshed, so we headed up to our room. When we got up there I was surprised to find rose petals scattered on the floor and on the bed. Mark had set up a turndown service for us, and we were a little early to get back (hence the reason for the “gotta pee” stalling). It was so sweet and romantic.

Then we changed and went to have a little sample of the cookie buffet that the hotel offers…the cookies sucked but I think we caught the end of the buffet and all the good cookies were gone. After that we went back to put on our swimsuits and headed up to the rooftop hot tub for a little relaxing. We even took some night time pictures of our view.

Finally off to our room to enjoy a nice quiet rest in our room.

The next morning we woke up and ordered up our “complimentary breakfast in bed.” This was the first time I had ever had room services so it was very exciting. I had eggs and bacon and toast while mark had French toast. It was tasty…even though we didn’t each much of it cause we’re not big breakfast people. After breakfast we packed up our things, checked out and hopped in the car to drive another 45 minutes to Galveston.

In Galveston we hit up the beach…it was packed being Memorial Day, but Mark was just happy to be at the beach. After laying there for about an hour or so (Mark played in the water, but it was too cold for me), we drove around the island checking out cool spots we could take Jett when we come back down in August and also surveying the damage that was left from hurricane Ike last year. It was still quite a mess, but things are being built back up.

After the beach we got in the car to make our 5 hour drive back home. As we made our way back home we both began to notice we were much more burnt then we had originally expected…Mark more so than me because I had put on a bit of sun block. So we detoured when we got back to Dallas to stop by his moms house and pick up fresh aloe for his ever increasing painful sunburn.

We eventually made it home where we showered, covered Mark in aloe, and went to bed.

It was a fantastic weekend trip! The drive wasn’t too bad (says the girl who didn’t drive a bit). The hotel was beautiful, and although the restaurant was closed the food was good too. The beach was a welcome break and even though I couldn’t touch Mark for the next 3 days I think all in all the trip was wonderful!!!

I hope that we can do that again real soon.

Away...

2009-05-24T00:34:00.003-05:00

Mark and I made the decision yesterday that we are going to get away. We aren't going far and we won't be gone for long, but it will be a welcome break! Tomorrow after we drop off Jett we are going to drive strait to Houston. We have reservations at a very nice hotel, we are going to have a beautiful dinner, and then Monday we are going to head to Galveston for some beach time. It's supposed to be a bit cloudy and maybe a tad rainy, but I don't care...this is going to be a great break and we are going to have a wonderful time!!! Updates and pictures to come.

Betty Crocker...

2009-05-16T15:15:00.003-05:00

While we are trying to avoid things that are bad for us, sometimes there is no turning off our sweet cravings. The good thing is that we've found a way to get that sugar fix and then get rid of the rest. I will make a batch of cookies or brownies or cheesecake or bars we will eat the one or two that we crave, and then mark will take the remainder of them to work with him. All of his friends quite love when he brings treats into work, and I think mark likes it too because it looks like he has the best wife/girlfriend/partner ever.

Our Pet...

2009-05-16T15:04:00.004-05:00

Yesterday we went to pick up our new family pet. This pet doesn't bark or meow. She doesn't have fur and you can't take her on walks. Best of all, Mark adores her and she doesn't bother Jett's allergies...I think she's pretty cute too. Meet our new pet...Lily the Hedgehog.

She's kinda temperamental right now, but we hope that will die down once she gets to know us a bit better. We also picked up a hedgehog for Jett to keep at his moms house...that will be Jett's pet. Jett named his hedgehog Darla. Darla is much more laid back than Lily, but isn't near as cute. Being an albino hedgehog she has creepy red eyes...I don't like her as much as I like Lily.

Thank goodness Mark understands that her eyes creep me out because I know he'd really rather have the laid back hedgehog, but he's going to work with Lily for me...and cause the laid back one should be with Jett anyways.

Freaking cool...again...

2009-04-28T08:38:00.004-05:00

Freaking cool…again…

It wasn’t enough to meet George Bush once, today I got to meet him again. He stopped by the office today to say hi to everyone. He introduced himself and shook my hand. I said, we met on the elevator yesterday. He said, oh yes, did you get my note? I hadn’t gotten a note, and he gave the evil eye to one of his people to make sure I got the note.

We got to take pictures with him which was pretty sweet…

Me and George W. Bush

And before he left the floor one of his people brought me the note…it was in an envelope…that was in an even bigger first class envelope. The note says. “Thank you for your kind note. I will ride with you on the elevator any day.”

The big envelope that the little envelope with the letter came in.

The little envelope that the letter came in.

The letter.

Now how to figure out how to preserve all this stuff…it’s not every day you get to meet the ex-president, but for me it’s twice in one week ;-)

Freaking cool....

2009-04-24T07:52:00.008-05:00

Today something amazing happened. I got to meet and ride in the elevator with ex-president George W. Bush. I had decided to come to work a little early this morning to get more work done, but because I was a bit early I decided to sit in my car and listen to the radio for a few minutes. When I had enough of that I went to take the elevator up to the building. When it reached me, there he was with 4 secret service men. (the strange thing to note her is that I was on the 3rd level of the parking garage, and he gets on at the first level…so why did he go down before he went up?) The secret service men told me I would have to take the next elevator, but Mr. Bush said it was ok for me to ride up with him. He asked me how I was doing, and I said I was wonderful, and he said that’s great and I said I was glad it was finally Friday. Then when we got to the building I was going to wait for the other elevator, but he let me ride up with him up to our suites. He asked where I worked and I told him Swearingen Realty Group and he asked how it was going and I said it was busy and he said really and I said yes, job security. Then we got to my floor (I’m on 7, he’s on 9) and I said have a good day as I walked off. He patted me on the back and said you too. HOW FREAKING AWESOME IS THAT!?!?!?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After getting back to the office and relishing in the experience that just happened, I started to feel bad. I had thought about what I would say or ask him since he moved into the building, but nothing that I thought about came out. So I thought I would write him a letter:

Mr. Bush,

Thank you for letting me ride up in the elevator with you this morning, it was such a pleasure. I can honestly say that your presences not only made my day, but probably made my month, maybe even my year.

Since the day you moved into our building I've been thinking of what I would say or ask if I ever ran into you, but of course none of these things I thought about cam out this morning (I didn't think I would get so flustered in your presence.) However, the most important thing I wanted to say was thank you. Thank you for all that you have done and will do to make this country a wonderful place for me, my family, and everyone else to love.

Best wishes,
Ann M. Goldammer

I gave it to one of his goons to give to his “people.” Hopefully he will get it. Sometimes even the ex-president needs a thank you every now and again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also note, I got here before the evil lady that keeps parking in my parking spot in the morning…so I got to park in my parking spot too…this has been a great start to what I hope to be an even better day.

10 Years...

2009-04-18T17:46:00.001-05:00

It’s been 10 years since Mark took me to his senior prom. Can you believe it? What a ride it’s been from that wonderful night until now. There are some parts I would rather not have happened, but am also happy they did because it made us who we are today…together…in love…forever.

We've Moved...

2009-04-16T14:55:00.002-05:00

Yes, can you believe it, after on 6 months in our first little apartment we’ve decided to move on to something bigger and better. Ok, actually we just moved across the street in the same complex to a 2 bedroom.

The move, like anything else in our lives was kinda stressful and impromptu. We just decided one day to look into it and by the end of the night we had decided to move, the next day we had pick out our new place and within 2 weeks we had moved into our new place. Of course, not without a hiccup or two along the way…the most major was the apartment not being ready on time. We were to begin moving in Good Friday, but for whatever reason nothing had been done in the apartment yet. However, the complex got it fixed quickly, they had new carpets, paint, flooring, and countertops all put in by Friday evening. Mark and dad even managed to get most of the big stuff moved in that night, since Mark had to work Saturday.

Dad and Mom came over Saturday morning and we finished moving everything in. Mom would pack stuff up, we would move stuff to the new place and I would unpack it all as they went to go get more stuff…I think this was mostly done cause we were working with only 6 boxes…but it worked for us and left very little for me to unpack once we were done moving everything.

Actually, other then having to hang pictures we are pretty much entirely moved in…fridge filled and all. Jett loves having his own room and likes his beach bathroom. We are enjoying not putting him to bed on the couch bed and of course having a bit more room to move around in. This was a great move for us…all of us.

The kitchen.

More of the kitchen...I swore I'd never be one of those people with tons of crap all over their fridge...now I am and I LOVE it!

The dining room.

The living room

Jett's bedroom...such a boys room.

The other half of Jett's bedroom.

Jett's beach bathroom.

The trashcan Mark and I made for Jett's bathroom.

Our bed/bedroom...the bed takes up the whole room, so it literally is a BEDroom.

The other half of our bedroom.

Our Bathroom

Moving on up...again...

2009-04-02T10:59:00.001-05:00

This last weekend Mark and I decided that with summer coming up, and the chance for Jett to stay over more, that it would be wise for us to look into getting a 2 bedroom apartment. We contacted the complex and discovered that the 2 bedroom is currently renting for only $100 more than what we are currently paying for our 1 bedroom. That did it for us. We agreed on a floor plan, a location and we are moving on the 10th of April. Just like that. The only real problem is moving all of our stuff again, but that is one days worth of work and then we’ll be living in a much more comfortable situation. Mark has called me every day since this decision exclaiming how excited he is, I am too but am expressing it minimally…trying to be the level head during this transition so we don’t end up over our heads. So in one week we’ll be moving on up to a bigger and better place…a place fit for a family bigger than just the two of us.

Time off...

2009-03-20T23:07:00.002-05:00

Ok, so it's been quite some time since I've posted and an even greater time since I've posted our story. So the last three posts are to catch up on that a bit.

Tonight I have decided to take the night off...as well as the day tomorrow. I have been extremely over worked (and underpaid) and have just had a bit too much life. Brandan took Mark out for his birthday and I opted out of going so I could enjoy a quiet evening at home. I've watched a movie, played on the computer, taken a bath, and now am working on catching up on the blog. Not to shabby for a free evening.

Tomorrow while Mark is at work I will sleep in, then it's back to this crazy life...run errands, clean the house, laundry, Jett, farm, family...it's always something. In the end, I wouldn't trade this crazy life for anything.

Prom...Our Story

2009-03-20T23:03:00.003-05:00

This leads us up to April 1999. Mark’s senior prom was approaching; I was still a Junior so I couldn’t go unless I was asked by a Senior. David Shipley was dating Adriane at the time…and she did not like me (I was David’s first girlfriend what do you expect). We all hung out in the same group so everyone was dating someone else in the group for the most part…except me and Mark, I was done with men for awhile and Mark was “having fun” as I can eloquently put it because I didn’t keep up with him much any more.

Brandon, David Shipley, Mark, Jeff and Colleen’s date all decided they were going to share a limo for prom. Because Adriane was dating David, and she didn’t like me, she made it quite clear to Mark during his quest to find a date that he couldn’t ask me. So, Mark found a date, everyone had their dates and prom was set. I even got asked to prom by one of Marks childhood friends, Robert Chabot (more about him at a later date).

Now I don’t remember Robert asking me to prom, but I guess he did cause I had a hair appointment and everything set. Then one day I saw him and he canceled on me. I had no idea why, just that I now didn’t have a date and I wasn’t going to get to go to prom. But a few days later, and not too long before prom Mark asks me if I’ll go with him…of course not willing to miss out on the excitement I said yes.

Do note, after talking to Mark about this, Mark said told his friend he didn’t want him to take me because Mark wanted to…that’s why his friend cancelled on me. Also, Mark cannot say where his original date ended up but that somehow he ended up without one and asked me. And do note for Robert’s sake, he did end up having a date to prom and had a perfectly fine time without me.

Adriane was not happy about me going, she even went as far as locking my tickets to the after party in her locker to keep them from me. Beth knew the combination and we got them out…haha. The day of prom I got my hair done, had my makeup ready, safety pinned shoulder pads into my dress so it would look like I had boobs…it was all fantastic. Mom even let me stay out all night and sleep over at Colleens after the after prom.

Mark picked me up. He wore the most ridiculous of outfits. He will tell you it was the pimpest thing ever, but poor thing looked so silly. He wore a zuit suit…with the chain and black and white shoes, and the cane, and the hat…oh the hat. Yes he was very cute and it suited him quite well, but it was so funny.

We danced like two people without a care in the world. We laughed, teased each other, and just had a blast. It was one of the best nights of my life...and one I will always remember.

Our Friends...Our Story

2009-03-20T23:02:00.001-05:00

I’m sure it’s important to note at this point that we had quite the group of friends. We all hung out together, we all dated each other…it was quite the group.

Josh – Dated me, Adriane, then Jennifer, then Beth
David Shipley – Dated me, then Adriane
Mark – Dated me, then Adriane
Brandon – Dated Beth, then Me
Jeff – Dated Adriane, asked me out once but I thought he was joking
David Goins – Dated me
Rob Huffham – Dated Jennifer, then dated me
Jennifer – Dated Rob, then Josh
Adriane – all the boys but Brandon I think
Beth – Dated Brandon then Josh
Colleen – The happy girl always in the middle
Me – Dated all the boys above except Jeff

I’m sure there’s a few more but these are the most important for the tale. As you can see, for the most part Adriane got my sloppy seconds…not proud moments for either one of us I’m sure.

Us Dating...Our Story

2009-03-20T23:01:00.000-05:00

From here it gets a bit fuzzy, clarification will come from Mark on most of this. And wouldn’t you know, after talking to Mark, he doesn’t remember much about it either. Our two stories put together yielded a tale like this.

It took me awhile after the incident to come around to the idea of “dating” Mark. He was quite experienced and I was the epitome of pure back then. He liked to get into trouble and wasn’t always known for making the best of decisions. But he was fun to be around, he was funny, a great kisser. I guess he ended up winning the battle in the end, but not like you would expect.

We came to the conclusion that we never really ended up dating. We hung out together a lot. He would come to my parent house, I would go to his…we’d meet up with friends…we’d kiss and hold hands in the halls…but we were never really boyfriend and girlfriend. If someone were to ask me to define Mark and me back then I would have told them we were “friends with benefits.” But not the “benefits” your dirty minds might be thinking…I was very pure of heart back then…kissing and stuff only.

Sometime during that year Mark made a trip to Albuquerque to see my old dear friend Kristy/Cori. Actually, hers and my friendship was quickly dwindling due to the number of my friends she had kissed or dated in the few times she had come to visit me. Well, I guess true to her ways, Mark was no exception…he kissed Cori. I guess the guilt at the time was too much for him…we have never been ones to keep secrets or lie to each other. So he confessed to me his indiscretion and I was furious to say the very least. He and I talked and yelled and cried, and I broke what we were doing off…I couldn’t tolerate what he had done to me.

My timeline on all that is quite off, but all that happened before Feb of 1999. Sometime in there I also ended up dating Brandon, and Jonathan Rios…stories not meaningful enough to tell really.

Married?...

2009-03-16T09:11:00.002-05:00

I have been approached quite often recently with the question of when we are getting married, or why we’re not already married. As easy as it is for us to justify to ourselves, it is just that much more difficult to explain to others because they don’t know us.

Mark and I have always been noncommittal in the way we label our relationship. We have never called each other boyfriend/girlfriend. Even when we were in high school, people would always come up to us and ask if we were going out; we would always immediately deny it even though it was very obvious we were together in some way, shape, or form…it drove people crazy, I think that’s why we did it. Even now we have a hard time defining each other to others because we’re not boyfriend/girlfriend, that’s much too juvenile. When people ask we usually look at each other, shrug and say something like “high school sweethearts” or “soul mates” or “future husband/wife.” But to each other we are just husband and wife.

So when are you getting married, they ask. If only it were that simple. What first comes into play is a lack of financial stability to make it official the way we would like. I have found the ring I want and Mark knows what ring he wants, and both of us agree that if we have to live with it forever then there’s no reason to not get what we want. BUT what we want, like most of the things we want, they are expensive. And although you can get married without a ring, we would still like to have these.

Second, is just an extension of the first...the way we want to make it official could be costly. Both of us have agreed that when we get married again that we want to do it we way we want, get married on a beach. That being said, getting to a nice beach around here is out of the question, which puts us in Mexico or on one of the coasts. Money to get there, money to stay there, money to put it together. Then, at the very least, we want our parents there. I think Mark’s parents would be ok finding a way to get there, but there’s no way my parents could afford it. So, we will come up with the money somehow to get my parents to wherever we want to do this...someway.

Finally, it’s more a matter of time justification. Not as a bad thing, but I’ve been married twice in 3 years, my last divorce was only final in August. Mark’s divorce was only final in November. Where as we know we are going to get married and stay married, others have been known to think that we are rushing things. At the same time we have at lease on ex’s feelings to consider as well as a child’s, in the end both would be ok with it, but it’s nice of us to at lease be a little considerate of them.

In the end, we don’t need rings or a piece of paper to know that we’re going to be together forever. We don’t need rings or a piece of paper to hold each other as husband and wife in our own eyes. We don’t need rings or a piece of paper to start or raise a family together. As far as everyone else opinions; we don’t need others to approve of who or what we are, we’ll respect their thoughts and beliefs, but we will still do what’s right for us. And who knows, it would be like us to one day wake up and just get married on a whim…we’ve never been known to do things the easy/normal way.

Finally I am posting

2009-03-06T19:34:00.001-06:00

So I am being accused of not writing anything in here so I decided I guess today will be the day. Well I just got my tax return and it is going to help us out a bunch. As much as I would like it to be my down payment on a bike or a new car or a TV it goes to debt and fixing my car. We will have a little more than we planned on having. But because I have 11 cavities and need 3 crowns, it will probably go to fixing my teeth. Yeah =(
It never ends. It is always something. Don’t get me wrong we have everything we need but human nature kicks in and I always want more. Go figure….
Other than my dental work crap, not much is going on. We have Jett tonight and I think I am gonna take him to Chuck-E-Cheese. He deserves to have some fun. His allergies and asthma always keep us indoors. Luckily the summer is coming and his allergies will calm down a little and he can start swimming. He is like a fish just like his daddy. OK I am more like a whale but still in the “fish family”.

Romantic...

2009-02-26T12:42:00.001-06:00

I’ve been feeling quite off lately; stress from working a job I don’t like, lack of sleep, disappointment in where I am versus where I thought I would be right now. All things I hardly have any control over, but nonetheless, seem to worry about constantly.

I came home from work last night a bit late, but as I waked in the door there was Mark preparing dinner for us. Not the usual boxed meal he is so good at making, but something he actually took the time and researched and made all by himself. We sat down, just minutes after Hannah picked up Jett, to a wonderful meal. Afterwards, my body/mind still wasn’t up to much, so Mark drew us a bath and we got in a relaxed. He sat there with his arms wrapped around me; he even washed my hair, so gently, while massaging my scalp and temples…despite my mood, it was truly one of the most romantic things he’s ever done.

Despite his efforts I still wasn’t right and proceeded to fall asleep in the chair while he played a video game to occupy his time (since I wasn’t doing a very good job of that). He woke me up when he was done and walked me to bed where I fell asleep with his arms wrapped around me.

I still didn’t get much sleep last night, but I am feeling much more encouraged today because of all the wonderful things Mark has said to me and done for me in the last few weeks. He is the most wonderful support a girl could ever have.

I’m sure he thinks he didn’t do anything out of the ordinary, but that just goes to show you how important those little things are.

Ball Machine

2009-02-19T20:21:00.004-06:00

Mark, Jett and I have spent the better part of a week putting this crazy contraption together. Jett would count the pieces for us. Mark would put parts together and I would put parts together. Towards the end Mark got a little frustrated with the track so I completed that part of the machine. "It's Crazy" Jett said when we finally got it up and working. It's hard to believe all of those little parts made this one crazy contraption.

Debt...

2009-02-09T20:04:00.002-06:00

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written anything. I’m not sure if I can blame it on my lack of energy, my pure and utter laziness, the fact that I now have more to do at work so I can’t write when I use to…I don’t know, I guess overall it’s just lack of motivation. I wish sometimes I could get Mark to write some of these…or at least something. He likes that I document everything we do, but I think it would be helpful to me if he played a small part in letting my mind have to remember just a little bit less.

Life has been stressful, happy, hectic, wonderful, and chaotic recently. We are slowly trying to work on eliminating much of our debit, because of this we have found ourselves quite limited in the amount of “fun” we can have. Whereas we would normally go out to dinner at least one night a week or take Jett to Chuck-E-Cheese, we are making our own dinners and lunches every day and staying at home much more often. Although, during the summer time this plan would be ok because we could go outside and play and picnic; during the winter it’s just that much less fun, I think we may all be experiencing a bit of cabin fever. The good news is, it’s February, not much left of winter, and our debt has been dramatically reduced; enough that hopefully by next month we will be able to reinstate dinners out, well maybe once or twice a month.

We have treated our lack of monetary value as a learning experience for both of us, the ability to get to know each other more, sharing in responsibility, and relishing in the fact that there’s much in life we can live without…and enjoy the things we can’t just that much more. Although we have yet to figure out how to really have fun without spending gobs of money, I’m sure all of that will come in time. I think it would be nicer if we lived near the mountains or at least some sort of nature, then we might become a bit more outdoorsy. I can honestly say we both miss the mountains…I wish there were some close by.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m helping Mark defeat Lego Indiana Jones, so I guess I will go work on my helper skills…see I told you we are running out of “fun” things to do ;-)

Bliss...

2009-01-19T08:57:00.000-06:00

Another semi ordinary weekend. Nothing real exciting is going on right now, and I guess I am quite ok with that. With the stresses of life I find it refreshing to see things come to a lull every now and again. I had Friday off this weekend, which of course revolved me running around trying to get any and all errands done possible. Mark got his snowboard prepped and ready for his trip next week, and I picked it up for him. Although I will miss him while he is gone I’m sure he will have a blast, and I will assuredly enjoy my quite time. We also went to dinner at Kobe’s Friday night, we didn’t determine a reason for the expensive date other than we wanted to, until we got there…tomorrow we will have been dating for 8 months, a great thing to celebrate. It’s hard to believe so much time has passed already.

Saturday we got ready for a special day. Russell (Mark’s brother) and Melissa were married in a quaint, but beautiful ceremony. I was grateful to be able to attend such a joyous event. After, we all went over to Shannon’s house for some family time. Many of the guests from the wedding came over and we all got to socialize. By 4 it was time to go home, get Jett fed and relax, Mark even managed to get a small nap in that evening.

Sunday was spent with Jett for the most part; we watched a movie, played some games, did some math, and spelling. Mark and I did laundry and cleaned. By the time Hannah came to pick up Jett, Mark and I were ready for some quite time, and that’s exactly what we did. Popped in a movie and just relaxed. When the movie was over I had the over whelming urge to workout, so I actually got the motivation to go to the gym and do what I’ve been putting off for so long. Mark even went with me; I hope he will continue to go with me, I need that motivation from him…plus he make sure I don’t push myself too hard.

So, as a whole, a pretty uneventful but busy weekend. I guess even the busiest of weekends can seem so calm compared to the craziness of our everyday lives.

Our First Kiss...Our Story

2009-01-07T13:44:00.003-06:00

One summer day I received a phone call from someone; who, I don’t remember. Josh and David had been in a car accident and had been taken to the hospital. At the time I didn’t have a car for some reason, so Mark volunteered to come pick me up. Mark’s and my encounters to this point had always been purely social and quite limited, but we never seemed to have a problem getting along; this was good for David so we could all be in the same room together. Anyways, he picked me up and took me to see them; Josh and David were fine, David had shattered his knee and both were bruised but they were ok. From there Mark took me home, we were both relieved that our friends and my boyfriend were ok.

Instead of going strait home, for some reason, Mark and I drove to the end of my street parked the car and sat on the hood of his car and talked for half an hour or so. If you ask Mark, he’ll tell you that he fought the urge the entire time of whether to kiss me or not cause he really wanted to. In the end his hormones outweighed his logic and he kissed me. I can remember this part quite clearly. Guilt weighed on my mind because I was kissing my boyfriends best friend, it was kinda wet like some of his kisses can be…but I swear to you, my heart skipped a beat. They were the most passionate, deep, meaningful kisses and neither one of us knew (or probably cared) about the consequences that that those kisses would hold.

Once my eyes unglazed and my mind cleared, I stunned myself back into reality and began dealing with what we just did. We both agreed that we shouldn’t tell David. I believe I actually broke up with David at this point, over pure guilt most likely. Yes I’m a mean awful person for breaking up with someone while they are completely incapacitated, but what else was I going to do? I still maintained a friendship with him as he attempted to win me back. Mark and I would kiss in secret or when people weren’t looking…the thrill of it all appealed to us. Eventually the guilt of it all weighed on me so much that I broke down and told David.

When I told him, he was furious; not with me, but with Mark. You see, Mark had been quite the ladies man and I had been David’s first real girlfriend…not to forget the fact that they were supposed to be best friends. Of course, claiming my innocence in the matter was quite appealing to me back then, so it was easier to blame the entire situation on Mark. I know now that it was both of our faults and both of our desire that caused the situation, but back then…well, I was innocent. David had his mom kick Mark out of the house, and after that David and Mark were never friends like they once were. I dated David for another week or so out of guilt, but by then the deed was done and there was no going back to fix it.

The Beginning...Our Story

2009-01-07T13:43:00.002-06:00

I’ve never been known to do things in order or in the “correct” way. I type the way I think which is very quick, and quite out of order with no rhyme or reason to the direction I’m going. There have been a number of times that my kookiness has been deemed an “Annieism” or “That’s so Ann.” All that being said, it seems fitting that I should put the story of our beginning in the middle of our blog. I’ll give you warning that for some reason I am missing huge parts of my life from my memory, so some of what I will write will not be first hand knowledge but information passed to me from Mark or my mom or from random friends who knew us way back when. As I get more information I will update this blog in a different color so you can catch what I fill in later. With fair warning also, this will be a long one, I will post a bunch of smaller posts with the category “Our Story” so you can read them all in order when I’m done. So, with deviation from the whole point occasionally, but in the end it’s how we got to where we are today, I will go back a bit farther than I probably need to just so you can really see how this all started…

My parents moved our family to Texas just before my 8th grade year. We lived in a quite little neighborhood with a bunch of kids our ages. We happened to live two doors down from one particular kid and his sister, his name was Josh Pincu. Josh and I ended up dating my entire 8th grade year and part of my 9th, but as we matured we grew apart, and so ended our relationship and began our friendship.

Now jump ahead to my sophomore year of high school. I believe early 1997 is when it started. Josh’s best friend growing up was David Shipley.
David and I got to know each other through Josh and I believe with Josh’s blessing we stared dating the end of my sophomore year. We didn’t get to hang out at school like most couples back then because he was in 11th grade at the time, at Plano Senior High, while I was still going to Jasper. So, most of our time was spent together outside of school, mostly hanging out with friends.

One night we met up at Bennigans, me, Josh, David and some of our other friends at the time. One of David’s childhood friends came along, they had gone to school together for quite some time and hung out together a lot, of course, it was Mark. I don’t recall much from Marks and my initial meeting; actually, up until I talked to Mark about it I didn’t think we actually met until my Junior year. As it stands our initial meeting at Bennigans was just a social gathering, the encounter that started it all didn’t happen until months later during summer between my Sophomore and Junior years.

Nostalgic...

2009-01-02T16:36:00.003-06:00

I am feeling rather nostalgic as I sit here with my eyes glazed over trying to avoid work. I’m reminiscing on old times, how we met, our high school days, how we lost each other, how we found each other again…

One day I will write about all of that stuff, but for now…I was going though old emails and came across a blog Mark had started not long after we started talking again. He only got 2 posts in, but in his first post he wrote.

June 11, 2008
"...Another good friend has found her way back to my life(kinda). It is a weird situation but things will calm down eventually. She is very important to me and I cherish her friendship. She is the only woman in my life that I know I be myself around and not be judged. She rocks. Now I just have to get her back to Dallas so we can get our friendship back in line..."

It is about me…but with as difficult as the situation was, it was best to remain nameless. It’s funny how quickly we went from being “friends” to being forever. Ok, maybe sooner than later I will write about all of that, because when and how all this got started the first time and the second time might be relevant to the importance of this blog.

But until then…

Happy New Year...

2009-01-01T22:49:00.001-06:00

We spent this New Year at home, which I was more than happy to do after our overly active Christmas.

I had gotten off of work about 3, so I went home, played a little Rock Band and took a small snooze. When I woke up I showered and went to run a few errands. I picked us up a bottle of bubbly for later that evening; I got Mark Wingstop for dinner and picked me up some Pei Wei. I met Mark at home around 8 after he got off of work and picked up Jett.

Hannah let us borrow the Wii for the evening, so Mark set that up while Jett took a bath and then we all played for awhile. Although I’m not very good I did manage to beat Mark at bowling…although I’m quite sure I couldn’t beat Jett at anything if I tried.

We finally put Jett to bed around 11 and we played a little more Wii before deciding to calm down for the evening and spend some quite time together. We opened our bottle of bubbly and waited for midnight. We toasted to me making it to a second new year (because I’ve noticed a trend that every New Year I spend with someone I never make it to the second one, I KNOW this one will be different). After midnight and some kissing, we put on a movie. We were up till around 3 when we both decided it was time to get some sleep.

Jett was up by 9:30 New Years Day, we played a bit more Wii and cleaned house in anticipation of Megan and Josh and Jonathan and his friend coming over. After we dropped off Jett, the grownups came over to play some Rock Band and Halo. It was a hoot listening to Josh sing, I hope that we can all get together again soon…maybe next time Renee and Lupe will come.

Happy New Year from Mark, Ann & Jett…I hope that everyone’s 2009 is filled with as much love and admiration as we have for each other.

Our Gifts...

2008-12-28T13:12:00.000-06:00

I thought it would be nice to document what we received for Christmas this year, this way years to come we’ll be able to remember how generous everyone was.

To: Mark
From: Ann - Gentlemen’s Jack, Socks, Nail Buffing Kits, 20 Xbox Dollars, IPOD Cover
From: Jett - Snowboard Socks, Wii Pajama Pants
From: Mom & Dad - $120 (for his snowboard helmet), Electric Razor
From: David & Lori (Santa) - Blue Jacket, Paraffin Wax Kit
From: Renee - Jacket/Hoodie, Shirt

To: Ann
From: Mark - Journey Diamond Necklace
From: Keith & Julie - Blue Shirt, Purple Scarf, Black Necklace & Earring Set on Cross, Tea Kettle, 6 Coffee Mugs, “Good Eats” Cookbook, Jar of Drink Mix, Candle
From: Mom & Dad – Pajamas, Pyrex Bowls, Pyrex Baking Pans, Blue Jacket
From: Jonathan - Mandolin
From: Dan & Sharon - $100
From: Grandma - Alaska Ornament

To: Mark & Ann
From: David & Lori - Vacuum
From: Santa (Ann) – Chair

To: Jett
From: Grandma & Grandpa - Wii Fit, Wii Mario Cart, Wii Ratatouille, Jeans & Jacket, Sticker Book
From: Cody or Case – Puzzle
From: David & Lori - Bath Kit, Cars Pajamas, Misc Toys and Candy in Stocking, Blue Jacket, Wall-E Leapster Game
From: Megan & Josh - Bath Robe
From: Adrianna (Renee & Lupe) - Wii Sport Attachments
From: Dad & Ann (Santa) – Wii, Camo Wii Remote Cover, Washcloths, Coloring Book, I Spy Game, I Spy Disney Book, Animal Sponge Pills, Bingo, War Card Game, Go Fish Card Game

I told you we made out like bandits this year ;-)

Merr-Wii Christmas...

2008-12-27T15:27:00.003-06:00

Christmas flew by this year with only a few hiccups. Christmas eve I got off of work early and finished up my Christmas shopping. A few things for Mark and Mom and I was done. Yes, I waited till the last minute, but I knew what I was getting for quite sometime…with Mark hating surprises and his curiosity…waiting was probably the best idea. Mark picked Jett up after he got off of work at 3. They came to our place and we opened gifts. Jett was really excited about his Wii, although I think Mark was just as excited. They both wanted to open it right then and there, but we decided it would be best to wait so we didn’t get too far in and then have to pack it back up before going to Mark’s parents for dinner.

Around 6 we went to Mark’s parents and had a wonderful prime rib dinner. I wish we got to eat like that more often. Dinner was cut shorter than I would have liked because we had to go to my parents so Jett could open gifts from them. We got there about 8:15, we waited until 8:30 or so hoping Renee and Megan would make it in time. They didn’t, so we opened gifts without them. Mom and dad did a wonderful job with gifts for Jett, I think he will enjoy everything they got him.

After gifts at my parents Mark took Jett home and set up his Wii while Megan and I attempted to make “homemade” eggnog. Megan really wanted to have boozed up eggnog this year, I though she would just add booze to store bought eggnog, but she wanted to make the eggnog too. We did everything we were supposed to, it turned out a bit thick and Megan over did the booze in one…next year I think we’ll stick with store bought. We all drank and played games most of the night.

Sometime during the evening Mark decided to take a spill down the stairs. Both feet came out from under him…his OU slippers flew through the air…he landed in a heap at the bottom…laughing his ass off. Booze was all over the stairway, but the glass did not break; Mark was fine, his butt a bit sore, a bit of rug burn, but his ego damaged the most for making a fool of himself. I tried to take care of him, but his stubborn ways got him upset with me saying I was mothering him too much. I tried none the less.

I don’t want to admit this, but it’s something we must remember and learn from. Mark and I got into a bit of an argument before bed that night. Over some truths that were told during our game and of course about him getting upset with me earlier. I was upset and told him he was ruining Christmas by being upset with me for things so petty, so I told him to go home. He did. Needless to say I didn’t sleep much that night, we texted back and forth and I think resolved the issues. And Mark, being the wonderful man he is, showed back up at my parents house at 5am Christmas morning. We were just fine, I think we just needed some time to cool off. We all opened gifts that morning, we got some wonderful things.

Dad and mom made breakfast, pancakes and bacon and eggs…mmmm. Josh even had a bit of a hangover from drinking the night before, that wasn’t a pretty picture.

After my parents we picked Jett up about 10. We took Jett over to Mark’s parents with us and had Christmas with them. Mark’s parents outdid themselves this year with my gifts, it was so great of them to think of me. We even went over to Andy’s parents house and Mark got his annual Christmas candy cane…Jett got one too.

Finally, after all the Christmas was done, we took Jett home and then we went home. We unloaded the car, I told Mark to go upstairs first because I knew there was a surprise waiting up there for him. While we were at Mark’s parents Dad and Jonathan went over to our place and set up a big chair I bought for us. It was a great surprise, Mark was quite impressed with my sneaky skills.

We got our gifts unpacked and even got a nap in before we closed out our Christmas with a short trip to Uncle Dan and Aunt Sharon’s for a small gathering and a bite to eat. We went home that evening feeling blessed and overly tired, but all in all we had a wonderful first Christmas together…and made out like bandits.

Crazy...

2008-12-22T12:52:00.001-06:00

It’s getting closer and closer to Christmas…only 3 days away. I am getting very excited for no other reason then to spend another holiday with my family and my first Christmas with Mark and Jett. This Christmas is going to prove to be an interesting one with the way our schedule is planned out. It will go something like this.

Christmas eve-
1pm: I get out of work
3pm: Mark gets out of work and goes to pick up Jett
4pm: Jett will open Christmas gifts from Santa, Dad and & Ann at our place (so he can have the Wii before everyone else starts giving him Wii stuff)
5-6pm: Go to Marks parents and have dinner there
8pm: Go to my parents house so Jett can open gifts from my family
9pm: Mark will take Jett back to Hannahs and set up the Wii

After that Mark will come back to my parents house and we will be spending the night there…with Renee, Lupe, Adrianna, Megan, Josh and dad…it will be interesting

Christmas day-
5am: Open stocking and gifts from Santa and my parents
6-9am: Relax and eat breakfast at dads
9:30am: Pick up Jett
10am: Go to Marks parents house and open gifts and eat breakfast/brunch
11:30am: Take Jett back to Hannah’s
12pm: Go home and go back to bed!!!!

We are not sure when we are going to do our personal Christmas, but I’ve been trying to convince Mark to do it once we get home Christmas day. I don’t forsee that happening because he is way to excited for me to open my gift. As a matter of fact, he’s asked me AT LEAST twice a day since he bought the gift last week if he could give it to me early. Of course I tell him no, and that drives him crazy…isn’t the best part of Christmas driving the ones you love a little more nuts?

First Christmas...

2008-12-15T17:53:00.005-06:00

I found our First Christmas ornament today. I’m so excited. I’ve spent the last month going every where trying to find one that would be pretty and functional at the same time. I found nothing. Then today I was at the mall and decided to go into Things Remembered. I found one I like and had it engraved for us…I will put one of the pictures we took into it sometime this week…it’s very pretty. It may not match our non personal pretty tree, but next year it will look great on it.
I love getting to do all of these new things with Mark, it’s so wonderful to have each other…especially this time of year.

Prom '99...

2008-12-14T19:09:00.004-06:00

Today I found the most wonderful surprise. Years ago, almost 10 years to be exact, Mark took me to his senior prom. This could have quite possibly been the best night of my life. We went to dinner in a limo, we had a fancy dinner with friends, we made out in the limo like we were actually a couple (which at the time we weren’t, friends with “benefits” is was I call it…Mark said in order to be friends with “benefits” he would have actually had to have been getting some “benefit”…I told him getting to be with me was benefit enough), we danced like we were idiots, and laughed at Mark and his stupid hat. We went to after prom, casino night, and had even more fun. We all got to stay at Colleen’s that night. Although I can’t remember where I ended up sleeping I do remember waking Mark up by kissing on him. I truthfully can’t remember a happier moment in my life…although coming home from FL to be with Mark does rank up there.

As for the surprise...at the after party buttons were made from pictures we took...I found our button. This button stayed with my through my relationship with Goins (I gave anything I ever had that had to do with him back to him), it hung on my dorm wall during my first year of college, it got packed away through his years with Hannah, but I still have it…I thought I may have thrown it away after he ended up with Hannah, but I hung on to it, him and hope…I just never really realized how much it meant to me until I found it again.

It's funny how much has changed, but how much has stayed the same.

Angel...

2008-12-11T21:35:00.003-06:00

Tonight we went to mom and dads house to decorate the Christmas tree and everyone was there. We had dad and mom, me, Mark and Jett, Renee, Lupe, and Adrianna, Megan and Josh and Jonathan. It was really great getting to be there with everyone. Renee and I hung the stinky beads on like we do every year. Dad even bought some white orniments for the tree so one day mom can have the white decorated tree like she always wanted. When we were all done Jett, Mark and Josh (our newest family members)…Jett on Mark’s shoulders and Josh standing next to them…put the angel on top of the tree. We turned off all the lights and drank eggnog while we lit the tree…this was Jett’s favorite part…he made us to do it 2 or 3 times. Jett likes eggnog...after some convincing from Mark to try it.

Oh Christmas Tree...

2008-12-09T20:48:00.001-06:00

We got the Christmas tree all set up. We started to put all of our personal ornaments onto the tree along with some colorful ones we bought for filler and then we both decided we liked the tree better without the personal ones. So we just made the tree look pretty and not personal. Next year we agreed that we will get a bigger tree and make that the fancy one and make the little one we have now the personal tree. Hopefully by then we will have a house to put two trees in ;-) Here’s how it ended up.

$150-$50 rebate for x-mas tree
$10 for blue and silver ornaments
$4 for blue and silver ice cycles
$3 for shiny snowflakes
$5 for ribbon
$5 for the star

Total $127 for the entire tree…and it’s so pretty!!!

OU...

2008-12-06T23:36:00.001-06:00

I write this one for Mark and his dad…

Today we spent the day at the farm, we had open barn. Even Hannah, Gunnar and Jett came up to see the animals. After an exhausting day there, we had to rush home to get ready to go to Cody and Case’s birthday parties. We went and played in bounce houses and ate pizza. I truthfully think Mark had more fun than Jett did…I know I had a blast, I haven’t been in a bounce house in years.

After the party we dropped Jett off at Hannah’s and went to Marks parents house. We went to watch the OU game and eat his moms yummy lasagna. OU played Missouri for the Big 12 Championship. Mark’s mom and I got to sit down and talk, something I haven’t gotten to do with her in 10 years…while the boys watched the game. I watched parts of the game too, but with as many touchdowns as OU kept getting it almost got boring and sad to watch…poor Missouri…they didn’t stand a chance.

OU won…of course…62-21 (see I told you it was sad for Missouri). I’m sure it’s also important to note that this was OU’s 5th strait game scoring over 60 points.

GO OU!!!

Pictures...

2008-12-04T22:51:00.001-06:00

Today we picked up our pictures from our photo shoot we did on Nov 26th. Mark and I went to JCPenny’s last week and had pictures taken. We left the place feeling like we were official…all dressed in our matching outfits and taking real official pictures together. Funny how the simplest things excite us. As soon as I can get to a scanner I will attach them to here. I am so excited, they turned out wonderfully. I wish we would have gotten more to give to family members but they are still nice.

Ok, so I created this using some of the pictures we took, gives it more character.

Go Stars...

2008-11-30T21:23:00.000-06:00

Tonight we went to our first hockey game since high school. Stars vs Oilers. Mark and I got there earlier than expected so we got some food and just sat down. They had text messages running on the main screen so we were having fun reading them. Mark got up to go to the bathroom and came back real quick. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but a minute or so later he points up to the screen and it says “Annie, I love you forever and ever babe.” It was so sweet. So he didn’t go to the bathroom at all, he went to send me a text without me seeing. Sometimes he can be so unpredictable. We ate a bunch of crap, watched the game, and went home…overall a great date night…minus it being a bit too chilly for me.

Stars won 4-3!!!

Thanksgiving...

2008-11-27T21:55:00.001-06:00

This Thanksgiving was split between both of our families. My Thanksgiving was supposed to be at 2 and Marks was supposed to be at 5, but some things got moved around and Marks ended up being at 3 instead.

So I went to my Thanksgiving without Mark. My family was all there and we ate just like normal. We hung out and took some pictures. Just the same as the rest of the years. After we were all done, and before dessert, I decided to head up to Mark's Thanksgiving. I got there just in time to watch a neighborhood soccer game...which I would have played too if I had not been wearing a skirt and heals. I got to hang out with his dad for a bit and talk to his mom for a little while. I even got to be in their family photo...which I am really happy about.

It was a good Thanksgiving...and I think this is the first one that I actually didn't eat too much.

Floaties...

2008-11-24T13:03:00.002-06:00

Today was a hard day for me, although Mark was here to make it better…like always. He came home from work to take care of me (a surprise to me just like on this day), we went to see Twilight, had dinner, and went shopping...he helped take my mind off everything.

I had an appointment on Monday for my annual. I told her that I have only had 3 periods in the last year and each were drug induced (hormones, not illegal drugs). Not much to be concerned about considering my past, but she wanted to do blood work anyways.

I got a call yesterday. The test results came back from my appointment; my LH and FSH (reproductive regulating hormones) levels are out of whack and I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. In simple terms, my hormones or lack thereof are throwing off my cycles and I’m not ovulating. This means, for the most part I’m infertile. It’s good to have found this out now before we started trying to have kids, but devastating for me who has been dying to have kids for years.

After much crying and research we learned that with proper diet and exercise 75% of women’s cycles go back to normal. We learned that when we are ready, if I’m not ovulating, there are pills I can take to make me ovulate. And if that doesn’t work we know we have other options like in vitro or adopting. I know it may never go away, but there are things I can do to help myself out and that’s what I’m going to do.

This article was most helpful for me in understanding what I’m dealing with: http://www.cnn.com/HEALTH/library/DS/00423.html

It’s funny, after all this, my biggest fear wasn’t not getting to have kids; it was Mark leaving me because I may not be able to provide him with any more children. He reassured me that I’m stuck with him driving me crazy, sticking by my side and loving me forever…I’m sure grateful for my floaties.

Proud Parents...

2008-11-16T14:24:00.001-06:00

After much debate if we could afford to get them or not and 2 quite expensive trip to the Laundromat, we are proud parents of a brand new washer and dryer set. And of course it’s not just any washer and dryer, this set will not just wash your clothes but it will dry them, steam them, refresh them, make you eggs and toast and even flush the toilet for you. Ok maybe it doesn’t do that much, but for what we paid for them it should.

These were supposed to be delivered Friday, but the truck drivers were stupid and didn’t call me from the gate. They left before I even got the message from Sears. So Mark called them and argued in his every impressive customer service ways and managed to get us a $200 gift card to Sears for the “inconvenience.” The washer and dryer were delivered today and we will use the gift card for x-mas gifts…not bad for having to wait another 2 days…not bad at all.

Mark decided to spend the first load sitting in front of the washer, watching how it works and being in awe of his new toys. Now hopefully 6 months from now he will still be in so much awe he will continue to do ALL the laundry.

Sad day...

2008-11-09T19:34:00.001-06:00

I usually just write about out good days, but sometimes it’s important to write about the bad ones…to know that the good ones outweigh the bad. Today is a rough day, a sad day, a tough day. I’m sitting at the Laundromat drowning in sorrow know that I can even afford a washer and dryer. It’s hard to accept after all I’ve ever had or done. I can’t even afford to buy us something that would help us out a lot!!! The first time here was ok, now it's just getting sad and depressing.

It’s one thing to endure rough times; it’s another thing to have something even remotely near you that could break your spirit during those times. We are both doing our best to hold our heads up high and not let it get to us, but it’s a shame that one person can make life so miserable.

The good thing is that I know in the end we’ll be the ones who have stood the tests of time, no matter whom or what tried to bring us down.

Dinner for 2...

2008-10-31T23:57:00.002-05:00

We went slumming this evening. Neither one of us had anything planned for the day, and Mark took the day off of work to spend with me and my bother, so we worked on cleaning our room. When that was done we had compiled a large amount of laundry to do. Instead of going to dads or his moms like we normally would do, we decided to go to the Laundromat. Neither one of us had been to a Laundromat before, but we did quite well for ourselves and made the best of what could have been a very depressing situation. 2 loads of darks, a load of whites, and a big blanket went in…an hour to wait. We hung around talking and then decided getting food in our bellies was a good idea. Mark went to the 7-Eleven and got us 2 Lunchables and a Slurpee to split. We happened to buy a Glade flameless candle earlier, so we had dinner for two by the candlelight.

Picture us, two previously spoiled people (in that we’ve never really ever done without), sitting in a Laundromat, standing at a folding table eating our Lunchables and sharing a Slurpee while dining by a flameless candle. I’m sure any other person, any other time, any other place; this situation would have depressed me, but truthfully I couldn’t have asked for a better evening.

The laundry got done (4 loads in an hour!!!), our tummies got fed, and we got to spend some quality time together just enjoying the moments.

My 27th Birthday...

2008-10-26T21:46:00.004-05:00

Today is my 27th birthday. I can’t say I’m really excited about the whole thing. The good thing is that the best parts of the celebration happened last night thanks to Mark and his goal in life of not listening to me…

Mark said he has been having a really hard time on what to get me this year. Since we haven’t really known each other for years it’s hard to catch onto someone so quickly. I gave him a few ideas; a ring to replace the one he got me 10 years ago, a hand written love letter, and I’m sure some other things I can’t think of right now. Later on I told him the ring may be a bit too personal for right now and that maybe the best thing to get me would be a nice evening out…basically, don’t get me anything. Actually, I specifically said that numerous times “don’t get me anything.” So, I prepared myself for a very disappointing birthday knowing very well that my family wouldn’t make a big deal of it (and they didn’t) and knowing I told Mark not to get me anything (which in the end would have been ok since I told him not to).

But, like any good man, he didn’t listen to me and got me something anyways….
Mark had spent the majority of the day at the farm so when he was running late on his way home I thought nothing of it. However, he came in the door carrying a dozen pink roses and a Little Mermaid gift bag (the bag sang “Under the Sea” when you pressed a button). I could have cried right then and there, my disappointment had lifted…no matter what he got me I was just happy it was something.

He sat me down on the couch and I proceeded to open my gift. Inside was a cute cartoon card (just a card really), pill case (now this was a practical thing cause I really needed one), some raisinettes (I told him a few days before that I really liked them). Then the good stuff; another card, one just like the ones he used to send me all the time back in basic. I was in tears but trying to protect my just applied makeup. It was the most beautiful card and probably better than the actual gifts. Finally, a box, and inside a ring to replace the one he bought me 10 years ago. Not necessarily a promise ring, just a ring from him to me…the best kind of ring.

After all that joy he tells me he’s taking me out. Tells me that he’s talked to his mom, his sister and even his dad to get advice on where to take me. In the end I decided on Kobe’s…mmm…Kobe’s. We also did the sisterly thing and stopped by Renee’s Halloween party for a bit, that was fun too.

Over all, it was a wonderful birthday.

So warm...

2008-10-23T09:21:00.001-05:00

Tonight was really the first “cold” evening of the year (in the 40’s). We went home from celebrating Michael’s birthday at Christina’s and opened the back door and the window and got in our comfy warm clothes. The air was cool and crisp and so clean as you breathed in the comfort of it all…it was wonderful.

However, sadly, I was feeling quite icky. My back is in a lot of pain and I think my lack of sleep was catching up with me. So I took a hydrocodone and proceeded to fall asleep on the couch while Mark played Viva Piñata.

He finally put me to bed close to 11. I was more awake by the time I got to bed. All I wanted to do was lay there, look at Mark, and talk to him…I felt like I couldn’t get close enough. All I kept thinking was...he’s such a wonderful beautiful man…I really am truly blessed to have him in my life.

Something to Remember...

2008-10-20T10:48:00.004-05:00

Usually I wouldn't write about something like this because the moment comes and goes so quickly that I forget the small things like this. However, this is something I don't want to quickly forget because it's times like these I realize how much this man means to me.

Saturday night, I had an unusually rough night emotionally. Mark was there to support me and reassure me that things would be ok. By the time I made it to bed I was much better. However, Sunday came with the realization that some issues between Renee and I will never be resolved. The frustration about the money and credit involved in that situation, the pain her words brought me, and the fear that I have lost a sister and friend for good pushed me over the edge. By 1pm I was on the phone with Mark bawling my concerns and fears, knowing quite well that there was nothing he could really say or do to make things better. He managed to calm me down enough that I could get off the phone and relax a bit. The problem wasn't solved but him being there to listen was help enough. Then the following texts were exchanged...

1:22pm - MARK: I love you so much
1:23pm - ANN: I love you too...thanks for being there for me
1:24pm - MARK: Always and forever

1:35pm - MARK: U miss me
1:37pm - ANN: Of course!
1:38pm - MARK: U wanna kiss me
1:39pm - ANN: Kinda...i more just want you to hold me.
1:40pm - MARK: Then open the door

And just like that he was there. I sobbed. Sobbed cause he left work to take care of me, sobbed for the situation with my sister, sobbed cause I couldn't have asked for him to handle the situation or me in any better of a way. I was overjoyed and at the same time heart broken...his presence made the other one seem less significant.

Sure, the situation with my sister may never be cured, but I have a man in my life who is more than willing to go the extra mile to make sure my heart, my feelings and my world never get broken or beat down by anyone. Him being in my life, and his love, makes dealing with all the crap just that much easier. I only hope that he knows how much he means to me, and when the time comes that he needs me like that, that I can be there for him just as he always is for me.

Final...

2008-10-17T11:11:00.002-05:00

Today is a somber occasion. Mark and Hannah’s divorce is final. I thought I would be elated now that Mark and I can really be together without the burden of him being married, but I’m not. I feel for them. I know how hard it is to go through a divorce, but to do it after 6 years and with a child...that’s got to be twice as hard. Mark is being tough, but I know deep down he’s heartbroken. I’m doing my best to keep my spirits up for him and just support him in any way I can. I know both of them will always hold a special place in each others hearts, but I hope they remember that neither one of them were happy together in the end and they did this for the best of their child and their happiness. As for their pain...I just have to keep hoping that this too shall pass.

Mom and Michael...

2008-10-15T21:32:00.004-05:00

We had mom and Michael over for dinner tonight. Mark and I are working on having all of my family over in small batches. They brought us house warming gifts, some really cool wine glasses and a wine bottle opener kit. It's awesome.
Mark and I cooked them dinner...some chicken pasta stuff...of course they brought a bottle of wine too.
Then after dinner we looked at old pictures and showed them how to pay Rock Band. I'm glad mom tried, but she wasn't very good...I think she would have rathered stare at me playing all evening (she was making fun of my tongue hanging out of my mouth). Michael played too...he was better than mom, but not as good as me ;-)

I rock at Rock Band.

Tradition...

2008-10-14T00:13:00.003-05:00

After having a rough day at work and overwhelming mental agony, Mark and I decided it was a well deserved night out. In order to drink and stay close to home we headed over to Snuffers on Park and Preston. It's $2.50 margarita and daiquiris all day Monday...so we got our drink on. We ate cheese fries and turkey burgers and fried pickles. We had a blast talking about anything and everything. And a the end of the night, we decided that we would begin making this a weekly tradition. Although we'll have to lay off the fried stuff, it still will be a great (and halfway cheap) way to spend some quality time together. And there may be times we will even invite more people to come along. One more thing I can knock off my list...tradition started.

Of course we came home and played Rock Band. Note to self: Do not drink and sit on the arm of the couch while playing Rock Band...you will fall off. Totally worth it for Mark's drunk'n laughing response to it all.

Dad & Charlie...

2008-10-08T22:26:00.001-05:00

Dad and Charlie came over tonight to eat dinner and hang out. It was great getting to spend some time with them. Mark and I made chicken Marsala for dinner...it was tasty. Then we all played Rock Band. I've only been playing for 3 days now, but I'm getting much better.

We even got dad to play. He wasn't bad at all considering he's never played before.
Then Jonathan and Mark played Halo. Mark said he could kick Jonathan's ass...but Charlie kicked his. Not a happy occasion for Mark...guess he's gonna practice some more.

Over all a great time hanging out with my 3 favorite men.

Out on the Town...

2008-09-19T23:55:00.001-05:00

Today I ran errands all over town finally changing my name back to Goldammer from Glazener. It feels good to be back.

Mark caught up with me later in the day and completed my errands with me. The last thing we did before we went to pick up Jett from school is go to Ross to see if we could find some pans. We didn't find pans, but we found 2 cutting boards. While Mark waited in line I went to look at the clothes. I found a fantastic dress...$4.99...I couldn't pass it up, Mark bought me the dress.

So upon Mark's request we decided that tonight we would go out...really for no reason at all besides the fact that we haven't been out in awhile. We didn't know where we were going, but I had a nice new dress to wear wherever we went.

After some debate on where we'd go and how we'd pay for it Mark decided he wanted to go to Bob's. He made some calls to make sure his connections would get us in and some how we ended up getting an invite to meet his parents, sister and John at Bob's. I was all for it, since it's been a long time since I've really spent any time with any of them. We met up with them...they know everyone there...it was so cool.

The dinner was fantastic, Mark and I got a little toasted, but it was a blast...they are all just like I remember them...what a fantastic family to have.

Movin' on Up...

2008-09-13T23:13:00.000-05:00

Today we moved my stuff into the apartment. The original plan was to move all the stuff in tomorrow after I finished my volunteer work, but with hurricane Ike looming down south we can't be sure how well the weather is going to hold up for the move tomorrow. So after work tonight Mark, Daddy, Jonathan, and I moved all my stuff into the apartment.

Mark and I were greeted by a nice surprise when we first walked in...wood floors...in the kitchen and in the bathroom. I had been calling the complex for over a week trying to find out if we were going to get them or not, when I last called up on Wednesday she said that the floors didn't need to be changed and it would stay as tile. Mark wanted the wood floors so bad. We were also greeted by another not so nice surprise...soaking wet carpet. I really wasn't supposed to move in until tomorrow so the complex had just completed cleaning the floors with the anticipation of tomorrows move. We did the best we could to work around the wet floors though...everything goes in the kitchen or bathroom until things dry.

It only took 2 trips in both of our cars and 1 trip in dad's truck (that was for the bed), but we got it all moved in. Now, in 3 weeks when Marks divorce is final we will move once again...but this time will be his stuff.

I've taken pictures to document my current living arrangement...

The living room...our beautiful chairs on on loan from Daddy's garage. The table was actually taken from the next to the trash can...one of our neighbors was moving out as we were moving in and I guess they didn't want it...we did.

The bathroom and our wicked cool shower curtain...we'll work on getting floor mats and other stuff soon.

The bedroom, please notice the lovely cardboard box at the end of the bed...this is used to hold the fan...cardboard makes lovely furniture. Sorry the bed hasn't been made yet, I just moved in.

It will be nice to look back one day and say...we didn't have much when we first started out, but we had the love of each other.

Labor Day...

2008-09-02T00:45:00.002-05:00

This evening we all got together with my family...invitees included
Mom, Dad, Lupe, Renee, Adrianna, Megan, Jonathan, Me, Mark and Jett.

It was a great time...we had bbq...hung out while everyone drank margaritas and laughed...we got tons of pictures. It was great having the entire family get together. Mark and Jett have been over a few times since Mark and I got back together, but for the first time since it all started I felt like Mark and Jett were really part of the family...like it's all supposed to be this way. There's nothing better than family...no matter how big or small.

Mark and Me...our first picture together since high school.

Jett and Me...such a cutie (him...not me)

Our first family pic

My family with the grand kids.

Big family...minus mom who was taking the pic.

Family...

2008-08-29T22:54:00.002-05:00

Today Mark and I took Jonathan to the recruiter. We're not sure if everything is going to pan out the way we want, based on what the recruiter said, but we're not giving up hope yet. I talked to Ben on the way back too; asked him to give Jonathan some words of encouragement as well as reassure him that his recruiter friend would do everything he could to help. I think it worked, Jonathan isn't in a funk yet.

Jonathan, Mark and I also did some work for Mark's dad. He wanted Mark to clean out one of the houses he sold. Between the three of us we knocked things out pretty quickly and even ended up with some pretty cool stuff when we were done.

Then at the end of the day Mark and I hung out at dad's house with Jett. Jett let me help him do his sticker book and Mark worked on messing (er...fixing) with Shannon's computer. It will need a new hard drive but should work fine eventually. Then I laid down with Jett on the couch to watch a movie...he and I both fell asleep. Mark happened to have his phone handy and took a picture...and so did my brother...asses...cute anyways.

I realized something today...I have never felt this way in my life, but I could quite possibly be the luckiest woman in the world...I have a fantastic family who I love...our family gatherings are actually starting to feel like family again. I can call on friends like Ben to be there when I need them the most...and even though I don't love Ben it's good to know that I have a friend like that out there. I have a job in which I am challenged, I enjoy, I seem to be pretty good at and I get paid decent to do it. Mark and Hannah have a wonderful child who I adore, and although he's not mine I will always love and treat him as if he was. And best of all...I have the most wonderful man by my side who would not only do anything for me but I would do anything for him. He knows me better than I know myself and balances me out in so many ways. He manages to amaze me every day by his intelligence, his devotion, his love and what may amaze me even more is the love I feel for him. I have never loved someone like this ever...it's great to have it all.

Wine and a Movie...

2008-08-17T22:16:00.002-05:00

Tonight we shared our first bottle of wine together...it may not seem like a lot to most people but every one of the moments we share together are important to me. I am going to start putting the dates on all the corks from the bottles of wine we drink and keep them in a safe place. Then one day years from now we can look at all the corks we have and reminisce.

We also watched The Notebook together tonight. Although it was on TV and my dad was in the room I was still bawling my eyes out. It is so our story in so many ways. We are so lucky to have found a love like this...one that stands the tests of time.

Work and Play...

2008-08-15T23:04:00.002-05:00

I guess I'll be the one writing most of these blogs...oh well.

I completed my first week of work at Swearingen this week. It was hard and tiring and emotionally draining. I am hoping that things will get better and easier as I go..I'm sure they will. It was a trying week for us too...as I put all of my energy into my new job...that energy got pulled from other parts of my life. It will be a growing balancing act for us, but I know we'll get through it. Of course Mark was by my side the best he could all week trying to keep me afloat...he's my floaties.

The end of the week was celebrated by a trip to Chuck-E-Cheese. $45 and 240 tickets later...Jett and Caroline had a blast...I don't think Mark had that bad of a time either...he's the one that gets the tickets for the kids...I'm in love with the biggest kid of them all.

Our New Home...

2008-08-10T22:46:00.002-05:00

We found our apartment! After much online research, driving around, and previewing 3 complexes yesterday afternoon we decided that this was the one. Although there aren't attached garages like Mark wanted, there are garages on the property so when he does get his bike we can get a garage and he can drive or walk over to get his bike. We decided to get the one bedroom instead of the 2 to save money...plus when Jett comes over we can just pull out the sofa bed and it will work enough for the small amount of times he'll actually be sleeping over.

The complex was offering prizes through the "Deal or No Deal" game. Mark was overly excited about this. The rules were that you could pick a number 1-10...if you didn't like that prize then you would get to pick one more but you had to keep the 2nd prize. I'm not a big fan of games of chance but Mark was all about it. He decided he would pick 2 first. Cause that's one of my favorite numbers...the other is 7 but he said that he wouldn't pick 7 cause every ones lucky number is 7 and the complex wouldn't be stupid enough to put the big prize in that box. Well when we went to go give my application stuff to the complex we arrived early...even before the leasing agent had a chance to go to the bathroom. So she did that...and I opened all the boxes to find out what the prizes were (Mark was my look out). The big one...a $200 gift card to anywhere...was in box 7. Needless to say we picked number 7 and we'll be getting $200 when we moved in...of course for shits and giggles Mark picked a different box first so it wouldn't look too obvious.

1100 Meredith Ln #1324

Plano,TX 75093-4664

We move in the 19th of September.

Gatti Town...

2008-08-08T17:36:00.002-05:00

Today Mark and I took Jett to Gatti Town. A bunch of games, some pizza, a tid bit of Aladdin and a lump sum of money later...Jett and Mark had a blast playing and I thoroughly enjoyed watching in on all the fun.

Celebration...

2008-08-02T01:00:00.001-05:00

Tonight we went to Kobes to celebrate. A few days ago I got offered a new job and a fantastic financial and career opportunity with Swearingen. This is truly something to celebrate since I've been waiting for an offer since I moved back. We also celebrated because today was the day that Mark and Hannah filed for divorce at the courthouse. I've also been waiting for this day since I moved back, so in 61 days we can really begin our new lives together.
Kobe's was awesome. It was Marks first time. We sat and waited for dinner for over an hour while drinking and making fun of people. We introduced him to Kobe Rum Punch and he of course ate more than his tummy could handle...but everyone does.
Although we didn't get pictures it was later this night (or the next day) that we decided that we need to start taking more pictures of us. To briefly draw a picture. Mark wore his purple long sleeve button up shirt and jeans (while the entire time complaining that it was hot...duh it's August), and I wore the same blue and white dress that I was wearing the first time Mark and I saw each other when I came to visit back in May.
We also celebrated to our future together...and what a wonderful future it will be.

Time...

2008-07-09T12:56:00.001-05:00

We have known each other for over ten years now. We have gone through a lot in our lives. It's been a wild ride and through it all we've always loved each other in some way shape or form...and always will.

Forever and Ever